Leaving home

I´m not going to get into it too much, because posting personal information on the internet is kind of freaky, but the next few months mark a big change for my fam. Obviously I´m down south of the equator - but also my pops is up sailing in Canada, my sister on her way to study for a year in Egypt, and my mom on the verge of taking a new job in Bangalore, India. So somehow the four of us are split across a couple of different continents. May in Iowa is beautiful, and the four of us had a couple lovely days together before I set off. On the eve of my departure, my dog and I went for a little walk to the corn field at the end of the road. On that short little way, a couple words kept turning themselves over and over again in my head. With a some pre-trip jitters, I returned home and wrote out the following... it´s called Leaving.

Breath to breath and head to toe
Forward, backward, to and fro
When swirled in angst I pray to thee
To grant me peace and simplicity

For a tranquil spirit in exhalation
And not the state of trepidation
For feet to see and eyes to hear
What feet and eyes want ne´er draw near

Rest me now as I prepare
To rest and rise and course through air
Through worlds and wars and woes and wonder
Arriving in whole, not torn asunder

-BH-

5-20-08 – Chicago, O’HareSomehow I blinked and then my eyes opened and not only had I been accepted to medical school but the first year was through. And now here I am, waiting to catch the second in a series of three flights that will ultimately drop me off tonight in the middle of the Andes Mountains. I have not been to Quito before – in fact, never to South America – but with optimism I tumble on. This is a spirit of I’ve long had, although it was sharpened earlier in the year by a patient who gave a lecture. The details of his story I don’t remember clearly – only that everything seemed to go downhill quickly – diabetes, hypertension, heart failure, liver damage – I’m sure it was all in there. So many bits rattled around in my head that it was difficult to keep straight. He paused at the end, and we were quiet while he was thinking. Then he continued, “I’ve been talking for a while, and I know my story is complicated, but if I could leave you with one thing to take away from this hour it would be that the best turns out for those who make the best of what turns out”. I don’t remember anything else from that day – not the foggiest idea of what we learned in Biochemistry, or even a sentence from Anatomy – but his words have stuck with me, and today they guide me. And so I’m off – to what, I don’t know, but it’ll be an interesting few months of living again. I’ll check back every now and then, and in the in between will do my best to make good of what turns out.